A Night to Forget

Out of leads on the Organ of Evening Calm, the heroes forget everything they know about dungeoneering...

2:00 PM, Day 7 – Mako Lagoon
As the heroes follow the pirates, Setnam and Quarterbeck begin celebrating their victory, drinking too much garlic whiskey and passing out before the boat even reaches the lagoon. Meanwhile, Azra attempts to conceal herself for the long journey, but almost alerts Mack, one of Tetra’s crew. She uses his near-blindness to her advantage by hiding in the shadows, barking orders at him as if she were Captain Tetra. As the ship approaches the Lagoon, the heroes notice at least three Hylian navy ships sunken in the bay, though the pirates lead them around the backside of the island, where they moor their own ship.

The team disembarks on a shady beach beneath the looming cliffs of the lush, tropical lagoon, where the pirates have built a series of wooden shacks amongst the trees and cliff faces of the lagoon. Tetra commands them to leave their weapons on the beach before they head inside to discuss a deal. After making a drunken mockery of herself, peeing on the kitchen rug, Tetra leads the heroes down into a dingy, makeshift prison, where she reveals that she has the Wind Sage Kapoora held prisoner. Azra, meanwhile, comes out of hiding, grabs the Coral Triangle, and jumps into the water, swimming to shore to join the rest of her crew. She spots them inside the first building and quietly slides into the carousing crowd, pretending she was there the whole time.

After pouring some drinks, Tetra lays out her deal for the adventurers: if they bring her all eight of the Sacred Instruments, she will release the Wind Sage to them. Concerned with her intentions, they ask her what she plans to do with the Wind Fish. She announces that she will first use the ancient leviathan’s power to wipe out Belluga and his malevolent crew before turning the Wind Fish on Hyrule Castle, where she will enact the will of the neglected people on the uncaring Royal Family. She tells the tragic tale of her childhood to explain where she’s coming from: her family was murdered by pirates when she was just a wee lass, but it wasn’t the Navy who came to her rescue; it was another crew of pirates, led by her current first mate, the old timer Dunzo. Even now, the nobility shows its disdain for the common folk by neglecting to properly address the violent rampages of Belluga and his pirates.

In spite of her rationale, the heroes are reluctant to let Tetra rampage on Hyrule Castle; to this, she rashly offers them the chance to stop her once they’ve made the exchange. Sylph adds one more caveat: that she gets to talk to the Wind Fish at least once before Tetra takes off with them. They shake on it, drink on it, and offer each other a pirate’s salute to seal the deal. Excited about their partnership, the two groups begin sharing information. The heroes list the instruments they’ve found so far and go over the leads on the last three – when they mention the long-lost wizard who supposedly owns the Organ of Evening Calm, they bring up a frightening memory for the pirates.

Once during a voyage, the pirates began to celebrate and became blackout drunk. When they came to, their ship had washed up near a mysterious island, not found on any map and populated by a lonely stone tower. Despairing that they had become hopelessly lost, they began drinking again, only to black out once more and wake up again adrift in familiar waters. Following a hunch, Sylph suggests they get blackout drunk again in order to find this mysterious island. The crew loads up on the pirates’ ship, the Wind Walker, and commences drinking, while Tetra makes Mack stay behind to make some repairs to the Super King of Pink Lions. As the crew parties, Tetra introduces the rest of her pirates: Dunzo, the old timer; Hudge, the muscle; Danny Zuko, the knife maniac; Alfredo, the handsome gay chef; and Rico Swabé, the lowly cabin boy.

6:00 PM, Day 7 – The Forgotten Isle
Sure enough, getting drunk was the solution the team needed, as they once again found themselves on a drab island housing a ruined tower and surrounded by choppy, grey waters and swirling, twilit stormclouds. The pirates, in their drunken stupor, had forgotten their own weapons on shore, though the adventurers had the wherewithal to grab their own. As they survey the island, a red-skinned demon dressed in sexy leather straps emerges from the front door and beckons the crew to join him inside.

The only pirate feeling brave enough to join the adventurers is Danny, who wields a kitchen knife taken from the galley. The team boards the landing dinghy, pulling Ren out of the cargo hold to join them on shore, and heads towards the tower, while the rest of the crew works on getting the ship ungrounded from the sandy shallows. The heroes enter the grand front doors and find themselves in a spacious entrance hall, boasting a massive chandelier and a sweeping stone staircase, though it appears from the dust and cobwebs that no one has set foot inside in decades. However, haunting organ music drifts through the stone corridors, seeming to echo from the top of the tower. Not wanting to be impolite, Rocco decides to use the doorbell first, pulling a cord outside the front door to ring a set of ancient bells. This ring is greeted by a pallid butler, who tells them to meet the master of the tower in his chambers upstairs before disappearing into the mist.

There is a door on either side of the hall, so the heroes begin by searching the left door. It leads them through a disused dining room and into an even dustier kitchen, where they begin to rummage through the cupboards. Marin opens a silverware drawer in search of a knife and is attacked by a lunging snake. Though bit, they use their staff to fling it across the room, where a ravenous Ren eats it. Marin pockets an ornate chef’s knife and a Dungeon Compass. The door on the other side of the hall leads to a narrow walkway over a pit of dirty rainwater. The crew perilously crosses this veritable balance beam to reach a well-decorated study on the other side, lined with racks of rusty weapons, suits of armor on stands, and a stone fireplace with two moth-eaten armchairs in front of it. Azra immediately gets a bad feeling about this room – they’re not alone, and one of the suits of armor is definitely not as inanimate as it seems.

Two Stalfos stand up from the armchairs by the empty fireplace, while Rocco moves to intercept the suit of armor, which is actually a possessed construct known as an Armos Knight. Azra, Marin, Ren, and Danny Zuko hold off the Stalfos, while Rocco goes toe-to-toe with the mighty Armos. Sylph attempts to assist Rocco with her Flame Blade spell, but she is too intimidated by her towering opponent to strike effectively. When the Stalfos are felled, the others join in fighting the Armos, whittling down its endurance. With a final whack in the head from Azra’s Battle Dildo, the Armos begins to rattle uncontrollably. It suddenly begins to spin around, madly swinging its sword as it thunders across the room, striking Sylph in its berserk state. It crashes into the far wall, exploding and damaging part of the fireplace’s stone mantle. In the wreckage, the heroes discover a small key.

Back in the main hall, Azra notices the chandelier is about to fall and fires a crossbow bolt at the cord holding it, sending it crashing down before it can fall on the party. The party then ascends the stairs to find themselves in an elegant ballroom. A bay window looks out across the grey ocean, while a door sits on each side of the room once more. Rocco and Sylph use the key to unlock the right door, which opens to a spiral staircase. They ascend it to find themselves on a balcony above the ballroom, where the Leather Daddy demon awaits them, playing his haunting song on the pipe organ that dominates the balcony.

The demon introduces himself as Vire, a wizard who once studied the arcane arts. In his quest for power, he mistakenly turned himself into a demon, so in his shame, he placed a spell upon the island that would effectively remove it from people’s collective memory. Now the only ones who come to this island are those who are just as lost and forgotten as Vire, who traps the wayward to feed his craving for flesh. Leaving his enchanted gloves to continue playing the organ in his place, he invites the heroes to join him for one last dance before he consumes their flesh; he transforms into a flock of Keese that swarms down to the ballroom, where he is joined by his dancing partner, an immaterial Poe.

The party jumps into battle once more. Rocco attempts to strike the Poe with his sword, only to find that is passes right through. He recalls the old adventurers’ tale about Poes – their lantern holds their true soul, while everything else is an illusion. Working in unison with Danny Zuko, Rocco manages to trap the bobbing lantern in between their alternating blade strikes, while Marin and Sylph assist with magic attacks. Danny strikes the final blow, knocking the lantern to the floor where it shatters, releasing the Poe Soul, which Marin manages to snag in a bottle.

Vire, meanwhile, hops about the dance floor, spitting fireballs to light the candles and set the mood for this dance to the death. Ren pursues the demon, biting his wings and ears and, eventually, his dick, which is chomped clean off. As Vire bleeds to death from his eviscerated groin, he requests that the heroes tell no one how he died. As he passes, his spells dissipate – the stormclouds around the island clear up, revealing the fading glow of sunset and a horizon of familiar landmarks, such as the cape of Clock Town and the nearby spire of Needledick Island.

Victorious, the heroes call upon Tetra, who has just gotten the ship unstuck. She brings it around the other side of the island, where the heroes smash out the big bay window, allowing Tetra to maneuver the ship’s cargo crane inside to safely recover the Organ of Evening Calm.

Characters

 * Rocco
 * Sylph Summend
 * Azra Garual
 * Marin Zephros
 * Ren
 * Wind Sage Kapoora

Tetra's Crew

 * Captain Tetra
 * Dunzo
 * Danny Zuko
 * Mack
 * Alfredo
 * Rico Swabé
 * Hudge

Minor Characters

 * Setnam Onalos
 * Quarterbeck
 * Lil' BowWow
 * Vire
 * Lurch